Of hope, fear and love

Mama telefon tadi.
Diorang tengah main badminton dekat court Seremban 2.
Four of them. Ayah, mama, minah senget , mamat romeo. huhahuahua...
Dan ain a.k.a ustazah akan balik hari selasa ini. Urghhhhh~syoknyer wei. Jelaous gila kot..

Eh, seriously hari ibu bila ek?
Hari ni ke esok. Sebab aku nampak mostly blogger banyak buat entry pasal mum and all.
Is it today guys? Oh, tadi tak wish pun dekat mama.
Sorry, mummy. You know how i love you right. No words can ever describe it. Clearly I'm not a person with many words. No worries, mummy knows well anaknya ini.
Guna telepathy sudah.

Urghhh~
Hari isnin kena submit thesis. Final.
And aku tak siap lagi weh. Apa nak jadi ni dengan kamu wahai cik hana???
Okay, I want to spill one dirty little secret that no one should ever knows. Hahaha, now what....every knows already.
Aku hanya hantar sekali sahaja draft thesis. Itu pun hantar introduction, literature review, methodology. Result and discussion aku tak tunjuk lagi pun dekat Dr.S padahal itulah part yang paling crucial. 60 % kot....
Dan I'm so ever relax as if thesis itu macam assignment pulak. Ini yang semakin menakutkan aku ni.
I'm the worst ever student. My bad.

Aku punyai perangai buruk yang bilamana aku dah putuskan aku 'tak suka' sesuatu, maka 'tak suka' lah jadinya. Kerja pun cincai boncai.Tak fokus. Main-main.  Tapi bila aku dah start suka sesuatu, aku akan fokus dan give all out lah. Pelik jugak perangai macam nie sebab apa yang aku selalu jumpa/face adalah benda-benda yang aku 'tak suka'. And sometimes, it makes me demotivated. Dan aku tak suka demotivated. Lain jadinya nanti. Breakdown. Buruk rupanya bila dah 'breakdown'. So ugly.

Well, it's life. What do you expect? Smooth sailing all the way up till the end. Now way man. This is my life, and sure it has something to teach me. That's the reasons why I met all those 'turbulance' . What does not kill you will make you stronger right? I'm still alive now, knowing that I will getting srtonger day by day. All thanks to the hardship.


Face the fear and say, "so what....!!?"
Whatever happens, I'll handle it.


Owh, sedikit terpesong. Now, I need to complete my thesis. Asyik tangguh tangguh je.Tak siap-siap lagi. Buruk benor perangai.Mummy how i wish I could fly home right now. Yes right now..*owh, sangat tak realistik!!*


One thing I feel terribly sorry for that matter is how I could not give my best to my supervisor. Dr.S...Serious rasa bersalah wei. Jahatnyer aku. Rasa bersalah tak dapat buat yang terbaik. Oh~I hate this feelings.Tsk tsk tsk..Aku rasa nak hantar note or card "I'm sorry" kat semua lecturer. For not giving my best where supossedly I should have. Demmit....

Aku selalulah fikir kalau aku jadi pensyarah ke suatu hari nanti,  aku akan treat my students equally. Tak ada pilih kasih ke. Yang paling senyap itu lah yang akan aku 'kacau'. Treat them as a friend. I wish one day I could be that kind of lecturer .*who knows ait* If only I'm  happend to be a techer/lecturer.