Duhh...it's been like a roller coster kinda feeling. This whole week. Ok, tak perlu tanya apa dan kenapa dan bagaimana because i plan to keep it to my selp. Zip-ed and sealed.
#1 Hello february, im still the same. Bye bye january, you were my nightmares.
#2 I realized, I'm not someone that "wear her heart on her sleeves". Final.
#3 I believe in good things, good deeds, good intention. What comes around goes around. Never hurt people feeling, intentionally.
Because of #2, it's hard to almost say anything. Like..
"listen, i am so lost and sad and hopeless now"
"can you make me laugh now, because i feel like i cannot live anymore"
"yes, I flunked. Yes, i'm stupid. Yes,i don't deserve a second chance. It's all bleak now"
"it's all my fault"
Mimpilah nak dengar semua itu.
Macam bila you are so sad, but you just can't cry your heart out. On the surface, everything seems okay, but deep down its a hurricane.
Tekup muka atas bantal pun tak mampu nak hilangkan kecewa. Sebab kena sedar sendiri, jatuh bangun hidup dan mati pun, kena tanggung sendiri kan. Nangis bagai nak rak pun, kena tahu bila nak berhenti. Hujung-hujung nya, harus kuat untuk diri sendiri. Yes. Diri sendiri.
That's why i blog. I guess, "talk is cheap".